P.S. I added a Status/Mini Twitter on my widget bar so check that out frequently I’ll be posting cool stuff. 😀
Do you think you need TALENT to be a celebrity? If you did, you’ve got this ALL wrong. Like, seriously? Here, I’ll show you what it really takes.
- Like, don’t smile. Like, ever. You’re the queen bee. Everyone else? Ahh… like, you are. Why else would you be on the billboard?
- Always wear sun glasses. No, not to protect your eyes from camera flashes. Just cuz you look fab in them.
- Always wear over priced clothes. You can even wear fake brands, but be sure to brag about them.
- Visit the salon twice a day.
- Don’t keep the same hair color for more than a week. Don’t be ugly.
- Have a schedule.
- Don’t watch people you hate on TV.
- Don’t spend more than 5 seconds PER person per selfie. You’re queen. You don’t have the TIME.
- Hire someone to do all your work.
- Hire someone to post amazing stuff and life lessons on your social media.
- Always take your Photo-shoot Crew everywhere, so they can take a perfect photo at Starbucks, which YOU can pass off as a selfie.
- Wear a full face of make-up. Even while you’re sleeping.
- Talk in a loud voice so everyone knows you’re here.
- Always, and I mean, ALWAYS look like you’re bored. Whenever you have the chance, check your hair obsessively or examine your nails carefully, even though their perfect.
- Always try to steal the spotlight. Even though it’s always on you!
- Make up ridiculous rumors so that the room turns to you.
- Say really French things, so it seems like you’re a classic, or whatever that means.
- Pay people to watch boring movies and pretend that their your favorite. ex: Titanic. Start crying whenever someone mentions it.
- Bribe people to follow you on all your social media.
- Go on random vacations to get in touch with your ‘inner-self’. (Like, whaaat does that even like mean?)
- Use the words ‘even’, ‘like’, ‘um’, ‘duh” excessively.
- Have each fake selfie EDITED and FILTERED before you dare post it.
- Stare in your mirror, daring for imperfections.
- Have your signature made into a stamp! Makes those boring meet-ups SO much easier! ❤
- Don’t have a personality. It makes things waaay easier.
- Have at least 7 private islands to yourself, even though you dislike sand!
- Take photos in front of a green screen, and pretend you’re getting Vitamin D, but actually just buy those little bottles full of it. Also, use spray-tan.
- Advertise yourself everywhere.
If you have a proper sense of humor, you’ll see that everything posted is a JOKE! Celebrities aren’t like this! It’s a TOTAL joke post!
I hope you enjoyed this little spoof, that I made up of imaginary celebs!