You asked for them! Here they are! Remember these are just for fun, but if you ever need to… well, then. No, I’m completely joking, these are very rude and you don’t want to go around saying these… but, hey, they’re hilarious!
In case you couldn’t tell… the words in brackets are the ones that the other person/people might say.
- The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
- You inspire my inner serial killer.
- I’d say nice things to you, but I’d rather tell the truth.
- Hmm, yeah, why don’t you slip into something more comfortable? [um, what?] You know, like a coma.
- [You are an idiot/ You’re talking like an idiot] I know I’m talking like an idiot. I have to, or you won’t understand me.
- I like your approach! -Serious tone- Now, let’s see your departure.
- You should do some soul searching. Maybe you’ll find one.
- You and pictures have something in common… I’d like to hang you.
- [YOU’RE A FAIL] Yeah, can you please finish up your life story quickly? I’ve got an appointment at four.
- [You’re so ugly!] *Hugs and gives a pat on the head* Life must be tough for the visually impaired.
- I see you did your make up today! Someone sure misses coloring books…
- Yeah, keep rolling your eyes, and maybe- just maybe, you might find a brain in there.
- You know what, sorry. I’m not going to be mean to you, it’s ‘Be Kind to Animals’ week.
- I’d slap you, but that’d be animal abuse.
That’s all for today, I’ll be back next week! See ya!